Rejection: Action or Reaction?

Rejection: Action or Reaction?

Elizabeth Rose

So now that we know the different levels of rejections, after reading my last month's article on: Rejections: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, let's talk about what you're going to do about it.

Sure it hurts when we receive a rejection letter. If it didn't, we wouldn't be human. It does get a little easier after the first hundred, but you never quite get numb to the process of a slap in the face.

Getting rejected can knock the wind out of anyone's sails. Especially if it's the "Death by Chocolate" rejection. Each of our novels is like birthing a child. And no one wants to hear their child is ugly. So what do we do about it? Do we act or react? Actually, the best choice is to do some of both. Let me give you the best outline of what to do when you receive that rejection.

1) Read it.
This may sound weird, but how many times have you looked at the envelope with YOUR handwriting on it, knowing it's one of those SASE's? You look at the envelope, or package, if it's the whole manuscript being returned, and decide you know what it says before you even open it.

Get brave and rip it open before you rip it up. You need to read what they're saying for two simple reasons. One - so you can see it in printing and know it's really a rejection and go from there. Two - so if it's not really a rejection, but maybe the partial returned with a letter from the editor saying, this sounds good, send me the rest, you won't blow it.

2) Put it down and leave it alone.
After the initial shock, put the letter down and don't touch it again for at least an hour or two. Don't go off the deep end and rip it up to vent your anger. Instead, leave it on the side and come back to it after you've calmed down.

3) Reread it.
Yep, that's right. I said to reread the letter. Sometimes when we're emotional, we tend to skim over things, hearing what we just know they're saying, and not really reading the words on the page.
It would help now, if you had your husband read this, or call up a friend and read it to her. Sometimes they see things differently since they are not so emotionally involved in the process. They can pick things out and read between the lines and see that when the editor tells you that you can submit it again if you rewrite, she's not saying there's no hope. She's saying she likes it but wants you to do changes so she can like it better.

4) Cry.
Once you've analyzed it and decided it's actually a rejection and nothing else, allow yourself to cry if you want. Even if it's a semi-rejection asking for rewrites, go ahead and cry. The mourning process is very important, and any good friend will let you do it.

It's not unlike a death. It's the death of your chance of selling to that editor at that publishing house at that certain time. So because of this, we need to feel sorry for ourselves. We need to cry, pout, stamp our feet, throw the work against the wall and promise yourself you're never going to ever write again.

Call up your family - they're good for sympathy when you need it. Call up a good friend who you know can understand. Maybe she's gone through it herself and can truly understand what you're feeling.

5) Don't write for a day or two.
While this may seem like negative advice, it's not. While you're in mourning, you should not attempt to write or send anything else out while you're so emotionally upset. You're not thinking straight, and your emotions will either make you do something stupid, or the negative emotions will show up somehow through your writing.

Take this time for yourself. Do something personal. Pamper yourself and tell yourself you did a good job and it's alright that they rejected you. Buy yourself something to cheer you up. Go out to dinner so you won't have to cook. Sit out in the sun with a tall cold glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage to drown your sorrows. (Just don't get carried away.) Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better.

6) Get over it.
After you've mourned for a day or two - or we'll give you a week if you really need it, get over it and get on with life.

Find a good friend who will kick you in the butt and stop giving you that sympathy once your time is up. (Beware of those friends who kick you in the butt on Day One. Don't call them for sympathy if you know they won't give it. Call them after the mourning time is through only.)

Take a deep breath, and meditate to still your mind. Now that all your crying is out and you should certainly be feeling better, it's time to get back on that horse you fell off, and ride again.

Go over the letter again if it had any info which could help you with your writing. If not, file it away for the future. Take the advice of the editors and fix those things they talked about. Don't put the manuscript under the bed an forget about it forever while you start a new one. That's probably the worst thing you can do. (Unless it's already been rewritten and around the block too many times to count. Then maybe it's time to move on, if you feel your writing has improved much since then.)

Revise, rewrite, and have a fellow critique partner go over it with you. Brainstorm if need be and fix it to your liking. Then pack it up and send it out to another publisher before you lose the nerve. Always have your manuscript out somewhere, rather than sitting on your desk. If can't get published if it's on YOUR desk instead of the editor's.

7) Keep a data base.
Keep records of which editor you sent which story to. If it was a query, a partial, requested or not, or a full manuscript. Or a rewrite. You may think you'll remember who you sent what to, but you won't. Not when you start sending out more than one novel, and to more than one house. Or when editors start moving to different publishers. You need to know that.

Try sending your next novel to a different editor, if this one's already rejected you. You can't really send the same novel, as that would be unprofessional, but you can try out different editors at the same house with different works. Find the right editor for you. The one who likes your style and the way you write. I think half the battle of avoiding a rejection is finding that person.

8) Watch the market.
Always know what's happening in the market. Know which editor likes what, and which publisher is opening a new line. It's easier to sell to a new line than one which is already established with their lead authors. Avoid a rejection by first doing your homework before you send something else out.

9) Learn from your mistakes.
Rejection letters are such an important tool because we learn what not to do again. Maybe you've sent a query on four different novels and gotten a form letter back including them all. That's not a good idea. I'd send one at a time. It may be too overwhelming for them to read a huge query letter, so they simply say no to all.

If a certain publisher keeps telling you that your novels have too much plot and are not relationship-based enough for category romance, then stop sending those kind to them. You're asking for rejection that way. Read the books the publisher puts out and hopefully (I say hopefully because this doesn't seem to help me much) you'll catch on to what they want. Or even a better idea - talk to an established author who writes for that line and she may be able to give you tips on what or what not to do.

10) Never give up.
This is probably the most important advice I can give you. Once you give up and stop trying, you've lost for sure. When you've rejected yourself, there is no hope. Keep faith in yourself and just keep on trying. Sometimes the fool succeeds because he/she is too stupid to know he/she's supposed to be so upset and frustrated that they'll stop trying so they no longer have to feel the pain of rejection. This is the kind of fool we want to be!

No one said it was easy, but then again, we knew that when we got into this business. If you truly have the love of writing in your heart, then never give up a dream because of someone else's opinion. Know you did your best and congratulate yourself. With a healthy positive attitude, a strong determination, and the will to succeed, you eventually will. Just keep trying. After all, Dr. Seuss was ready to give up. If Dr. Seuss had given up, we never would have been able to enjoy all those wonderful books as children. Don't cheat the public by quitting. There are people out there who would benefit by hours of enjoyment from reading your books. Remember that. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for them.

The difference between success and failure is determination!

Elizabeth Rose

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